Things that are Freaking Me Out

 Well hello there! I am suddenly getting the urge to create a blog once more. And not just any blog - an OG Blogger-circa-2008 style blog. 

I have spent my whole life creating these things (blogs, art, etc.) and always feeling a bit ashamed of them? I am a perfectionist with what I think (??) is a strong artistic eye (and ear....and brain??), and I somehow never have the resources and time to physically (and by physically, I mean on the internet) create things that live up to the high aesthetic standards that I set for myself. I also have historically had a huge fear of judgement from others. 

I have to be honest, sometimes when people I have casually known have created things that weren't super polished and professional looking, I have judged them! I think they look amateurish and foolish for thinking they have created something that is high quality when they have not! But, you know what? My judgement means nothing to them. I might think their creative project looks amateurish and "not-self-aware", but there are plenty of people out there in the world who might connect to it, and find value in it - those people are just not me. That person does not have to think about me at all.

So all this to say....I am just going to finally get over myself. I might even tell people that this thing exists, we shall see!!! (If I have done this and you are now a hater who is judging me for my silly amateur-ness, heeyyyy!!!)

PS - Final Note - I personally think my creative writing skills are mediocre at best. As a kid I loved the idea of journaling and bought myself so many journals over the years. I would start writing, but then a few days later look back on what I had written and feel ashamed for how amateurish the writing sounded (sensing a theme maybe?) and stop. So I guess this is also my exercise in not stopping? But I just had to include this disclaimer that I am self-aware enough to know that my writing is NOT amazing. Okay....I think that does it for today. See you soon :)